Friendship in exchange for goods and services
Everybody is your co-worker
ICYMI:
From the Archive: Breonna Taylor wasn’t me, but she could have been
Everyone’s a sellout now while this one seems a bit dated because of the laws changed with TikTok but there’s more relevancy about marketing as a creative.
Catch up on the latest episode of I Have Questions Apple podcast , Spotify and where ever you listen
Perspective
A former friend of mine told me that I was fake. She said that she didn’t believe me when spoke about places I had been, things I had done and people I met.
Notice how I began this story with the words “former friend”.
To some extent, she was correct. But don't we have to be a little bit “fake” in order to survive adulthood?
For a long time, I struggled with the word “fake”, believing that being honest, tried and true to every sentiment and statement meant that one day I could shed that feeling of being inauthentic. But that never happened. And honestly I think I’m better for it.
Take the process of job interviews for example. I’ve gone into a job interviews for a managerial positions that I didn’t really want and the word “disingenuous” rang in my head. As I answered a series of questions that have pre-determined answers, I realized how who we have to become for the sake of capitalism. Answering job interview questions is a mix of compassion, discipline and rehearsal.
I went to work in an office for 20 years directly after college, despite my degree in Video Production and my youthful desire to be a creative. I learned that there are certain environments where we may feel “stuck with” certain people. It’s how we conduct business. It's how we get work done. It’s how we play team sports and tolerate our co-workers to collect a paycheck.
Using the word “fake” may be a bit extreme. It is the act of being “civil”. The best definition I’ve found from a Quora post:
Civil is not saying anything mean. Polite is saying something nice.
If you see someone you hate and you don’t speak to him, that’s civil. If, instead, you walk up to him and say “It’s great to see you! How have you been?” that’s polite.
If, on the other hand, you walk up to him and say “Hello, you piece of dog-shite. The fact that you are sill alive is proof positive that there is no God.” then that is neither civil, nor polite, but probably honest.
We all rehearse for job interviews. We also rehearse being civil at different times for any number of reasons.
Think of that person you see at every event. You may or may not know their name but they kind of give you “weird vibes”. Now imagine that person is someone you have to work in an office with.
“Weird vibes” aren’t an offense in the office. It is a reminder that there are people in the world that you don’t have understand or create meaningful relationships with. These are transactional relationships. These are relationships based squarely on the need to leverage, based on a mutual benefit or simply getting a job done.
Sincere generosity is never transactional. It comes from a place that is easy to forget exists in a transactional world. These are meant to be sacred and held in high regard.
We don’t have to invite everyone to sit at the lunch table with us. But we also don’t have to treat people like they would inevitably steal your lunch from the breakroom refrigerator.