Guilty by complacency
Jack Harlow's new song tells the story of when loyalty isn't the answer
The internet was in an uproar over Jack Harlow's song “Gang, gang, gang" not for the reasons one would think.
“Did you hear about Marcus/ Our Marcus?/ “Yeah our Marcus”.
The song’s first two versus go through two character scenarios, narrating its way through hearing about a friend being accused of a crime— more specifically an act of violence— followed by a questioning disbelief that it couldn’t be this person we know “Our Marcus?” The question implies that these things only happen to other people and are done by other people.
The question arises what do you do when the person you've known for years, called your friend —your chosen family — does something “out of character”?
I use quotes for “out of character” because there’s an assumption that the person we have grown to know and love could not possibly have done anything wrong. However, time and time again, with or without knowing “out of character” is actually the character that went unchecked.
Over the past few years, we as a collective have heard the stories about heroes, father figure types and celebrated individuals who have for years with impunity acted in a manner unfitting to the titles we give them.
In June 2023, Kimora Lee Simmons model, founder Baby Phat clothing and ex-wife of Russell Simmons went on IG Live alleging that her former husband is not the man his success would dictate. In previous years, there have been allegations of Simmons sexually assaulting women, along with her own admissions of abuse and financial neglect.
Chris Brown claimed people hated him solely for the 2009 assault of Rihanna. However, there were allegations that he stalked and abused his ex- girlfriend Karrueche Tran, warranting her to file for a restraining order in 2015. He later posted a series of photos of other people who been accused or charged with similar offenses including Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Nicolas Cage, Ozzy Osbourne, Tommy Lee, Emma Roberts, Carmen Electra, Josh Brolin and more— almost as if to say “but everyone else is doing it, too”.
But these are the big names and extreme stories. Harlow’s song points out that incidences happen closer to home. In my estimation, he's also saying loyalty may be the culprit holding people hostage to someone they love dearly for far too long and for the wrong reasons.
“Gang, Gang, Gang” is more than just a song. It's a question of community accountability, a concept that has gotten lost and in current state of the world, far beyond repair when something goes wrong. A complicit community is guilty by association of crimes they didn’t commit when we start to ask questions like “Where were their friends?” “Why didn't anyone say anything?” It’s easy to ignore in small doses but become problematic when you look at the circle and the community.
Those in the community who even considered coming forward can't because social survival takes precedence. They endure the repetitive disputes among friends which inbreed resentment and distrust; manipulative use of social status or in some cases leveraging wealth dangled as potential investments; the pressured accusations of “being disrespected” because they called out for a flaw.
We want social decorum to take place and a righteous good to rise saying “I’m sure someone will say something!” But does that happen when we need it to? Eventually somebody becomes nobody in a world of everybody.
“Not our Kevin” says the song. Or worse: “They've always done that. We just ignore it because it's not going to change.” Harm is not always large and luminous. We see the glimpses in smaller and more subversive ways that we often overlook.
Blind loyalty allows our people to become giants to us, all the while they are standing on the shoulders of people they harm, crushing any hope or belief that maybe one day they’ll change.
Each incident becoming a marker of someone who is one step away from creating a more hostile situation. One after another incidents are swept under the rug as a quirk or an off shoot moment. While one paper cut may not kill you, one thousand can be in a significant amount of pain and loss.
Public discourse on social media and notions of “cancel culture” often overshadow the issue so much so that the topics of abuse, lack of empathy, neglect, harm and assault get lost in the conversation.
Yes, your Marcus or Kevin or whomever said or did something and no one close to him was able to hold him accountable. And even if they did, how would anyone ever truly know or see a difference?
Who are you supposed to be in that moment when you find out that the person you called your friend is an abuser? What do you do when you’ve ignored someone who was publicly verbally abusive? What do you do when your friend, male, female or otherwise is abusive to you?
How long do you wait before you step in to intervene when you see something happening? How much is everyone supposed to endure?
As usual, I have more questions than answers. But the biggest question I ask is what is the value of loyalty if everyone around is disloyal to those who really need protection?
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