Plain ole vanilla

A sternly worded letter to my first love

“Your love is better than ice cream…”Sarah McLachlan was a liar. She was lying to her lover when she said this. Because she knew her lover well enough to know they needed to be the only thing she desired. But let's be serious, no love will ever compare to a cup, cone or bowl of ice cream.

Best when served cold. It only creates a sugary mess when it melts down. Forcing us to wipe clean every surface you drip the lactic droppings to. Savory is possible but it's better served sweet. Non- dairy replacements come close unless it's an additive filled substitutes.

Ice cream, can make liars of men who desire something that will make them sickly in the morning. Sneaking spoonfuls in the dark from a container hidden from sight.

“French vanilla, butter pecan, chocolate deluxe. Even caramel sundaes is getting touched. Scooped in my ice cream truck. Who tears it up?” Wu Tang Clan decided they needed every flavor that the world could offer. Ignoring their intolerant bellies tearing their insides asunder.

All the while they named every flavor they have ever tasted to a beat as old as time. But none of them ever mention just plain ole vanilla.

Boring to the novice. Simple to the untrained eye. But vanilla is complex to the connoisseur and aficionado.

When blended plain ole vanilla becomes whatever you need it to be. The root beer floats and banana boats. Shop windows have us staring longingly at the cases of gelato and sorbets.

But no matter what I do I find myself knowing it's all just dressed up vanilla ice cream.

Whatever you want it to be, vanilla ice cream can become it.